Lately I’ve been suffering a little from depression, the kind when you don’t even realise you have it. This is something I’ve battled with for so many years now.
I find this time of year particularly hard due to the changes of season, when it gets dark early I begin to get depressed. Which is so odd because if anyone asks me what is your favourite season I always answer autumn. And it is such a beautiful time. But there’s something about the day being over so early that saddens me.
It makes me think of the things I’ve yet to achieve, how I’m not near where I want to be in my life, don’t get me wrong I think I have a nice life, a happy one, a good one but when I get depressed the bad finds a way to outweigh the good. Not to mention the loneliness and how it starts to feel so unbearable. It’s odd because the rest of the year I can say hand on heart I am happy (well mostly).
Even in my depression I can still see elements of happiness, my son brings me so much joy, my family, friends, I know the wonderful things the world has to offer but some how everything gets a little clouded over.
But what is really odd about me is that as much as I suffer from depression naturally I am an optimist I really do believe that everything will work out in the end, which I’m sure sounds like a very odd thing to say given what I’ve written above and probably somewhat naïve . then i found this qoute which summed up everything.
“In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” — Albert Camus
It’s not just me feeling this way though, ok not everyone is suffering from depression but plenty are suffering from the winter blues. When I speak to my single friends they all say the same thing every year we all do “I’m lonely”, “I’d like a partner”, being single some how feels harder this time of year, no man to snuggle up to, no special someone to make you feel good, no Mr. right to hold your hand and lend you some support.
The married ones cry of the year being almost over, where as the time gone, another year soon to end, you know what doesn’t help is Christmas cards in the shops in September, what is the matter with these people for goodness sake! Anyway I digress
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that winter affects our moods at least the beginning of winter does for most people anyway.
If you’re like me it’s time to stock up on the winter essentials although mine are mostly herbal
Winter essentials list
Ginseng – check
Ginkgo biloba -check
Lots of Khai cuddles – check, check and check
Good books – check
Hot chocolate or cocoa- check
Vitamin b complex -check
Daylight light bulbs – check
just a little chocolate – check
links on depression:http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
Title qoute by Philip Larkin