When Khai was one I got him some reins this was not a decision I came to lightly because I had always told myself that when I had children I wouldn’t use them, Why? Because like many things I didn’t think I’d do before I had a child, actually changed when I did have one and lead me to see why some of these things are warranted.
Khai was the kind of kid that constantly ran off, slipped from my grasp and my biggest fear was that he’d run into the road or get lost so when looking at the pro’s and con’s the reins won and if the truth be told I don’t have a problem with reins it’s just that I would have preferred not to have use them, it didn’t sit completely comfortably with me personally. Which is why I only used them twice, I do remember I had an odd feeling the two times I did use them a feeling of being judged by other mothers an odd look here and there.
I also remember once sitting in the garden with three friends at the house of a close friend of mine, Khai running around playing while the four of us sat and watched him as we talked and sipped our drinks.
I then remember conversation turning to the fact that khai did not sit still for long and was always running off, one friend asked “how do you cope?”, my close friend answered “oh she brought some reins” at which point my other friend felt it was her place to inform me that it was a horrible and cruel thing I did using reins, she felt it was ok to tell me that it was treating a child like ‘‘an animal”, “a dog on a lead’’, I simply told her that she had a right to her opinions and i have a right to my choice, that I too had had my reservations before hand but if it came to having to see my son in an hospital bed or wearing reins the reins will be the one I choose ever single time and that when she has her own children come back and tell me if she thinks the same things she thought then. But the truth is her words really hurt and I wasn’t even using them then.
I watched a TV programme last week which spoke about the topic of reins and that in the 70s and 80s they were a must have, then they disappeared in the 90s and are now making a come back. The panel two men one with children and two women both have children felt that reins where fine and up to the individual parent weather they used them or not, then there was a live phone in where all but one caller felt reins where fine for children to use.
I personally think either is fine use them if you need them and if you don’t, don’t but don’t sit in judgement if someone chooses to use them that’s their choice to do so and choice is something we are all so fortunate to have.