As of this week khai will be changing class at nursery. He’ll be joining the class for the big boys and girls who are aged between three and five. I’m excited for him but worried at the same time because his speech is delayed and he won’t be able to communicate his needs as well as the other children. Which also means if he is having a bad time of it he won’t be able to tell me either.
Bigger class also means longer days, new friends to make which shouldn’t be a problem for Khai because he is very sociable which is something I love about him and something I need to work on for myself because i am finding that as the years go by this is something I am getting worse and worse at.
In fact I’m finding it increasingly difficult to socialise and spark up prolonged conversation with anyone I haven’t known already for sometime, I think when talking to someone I don’t know very well that when the silent gaps appear in conversation it tends to ring in my ears, the sound of nothing almost feels deafening to me. So now I notice I am going out of my way to avoid these situations. When did it become so hard to make friends? I guess I have to force myself to cope better and just endure these situations because the alternative is isolation and loneliness.